


I'm Free

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Suicide, armin's pov, but its just that i understand him, i dont want him dead, im so sorry, my baby, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:51:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin's suicide note. </p><p> ''Water.</p><p>Beautiful, isn't it? The essential element for life, the creator of life.</p><p>Spend a long time in it, you die.''</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Free

**Author's Note:**

> Very sad, yeah. But my imagination said ''hey, why the heck not'' and here we are. 
> 
> Enjoy, but I don't think there's much to enjoy here, eh..

_''Water._

_Beautiful, isn't it? The essential element for life, the creator of life._

_Spend a long time in it, you die.''_

 

 

 

Truth is, there was never really much life in front of us to begin with. When you're born inside these walls, that's it. That's your whole world. And you're not going to see more of it. You're never going to experience the depths of the deepest oceans, never going to experience the altitude of the sky,... Nothing. You're destined for one of two things; kill or be killed.

 

I guess I'm neither. No, I don't guess. I _am_ neither. Too weak to be in the battlefield, too small to even be noticed by the Titans. My job is to make battle plans, strategies and ideas. My mind is the most valuable thing I have to offer to these people, to the Survey Corps.

 

Ironic, isn't it? My mind may be the best thing on me, but it's also the same thing killing me.

 

Eren is an excellent resource to us, due to his Titan powers. His powers helped a lot of people, and he might be the only hope that humanity has.

 

Mikasa? There's no point in even mentioning her, this place wouldn't still be intact if she wasn't as brilliant as she is.

 

Corporal Levi. The humanity's strongest. At first I didn't believe the rumours, but it really is true. There's no one better than him. He saved our lives multiple times.

 

He should've saved his strength, though. Same as Eren should've, when we were kids. Mikasa too. Them protecting me is just a waste of energy, really.

 

I'm not going to walk around my point, so let's get straight to it.

 

The reason why I'm writing this is not because I _want_ to tell you why I did this. It's because I know you would want to know why.

 

I'm sorry, Eren and Mikasa. Best friends I could've wished for, really. I need you to understand that there was no place for me there. Eren, you got eaten because of me. You risked your life multiple times later because of me. Mikasa, you lost your brother once because of me. Of course, let's not even mention the emotional pain I caused you both.

 

Nothing will ever change the fact that I am nothing but a third wheel, and I'm holding everyone back. You have so much potential, and you can set it free now! You don't have to fear that I will be hurt or anything. No more risking your lives because of me, no more pain because of me. I'm gonna be free. I'm finally going to be free, and I'm finally going to get my wish; I'm going to see the world.

 

The only way I can be happy is to see you two safe. I was only in the way. And don't try to deny it, please. I can't kill Titans, but I can kill my friends. I'm begging you, ask yourself; would you want to live knowing that you lead your best friend to death _just_ because you couldn't do anything, not a damn thing? My answer is no. I feel guilty and ashamed, yes, but the reason why I'm doing this is to make sure it doesn't happen again.

 

You are all so valuable, guys. Each and every one of you has a special task, and everyone is doing so amazing. If we lost even one of you, nothing would be the same. You're all important. Please continue with the amazing job you're doing, because you're the only ones who can save the humanity.

 

Don't cry. Don't. I've spent my days crying, and I really don't want any more tears spilled over one little me. I change nothing. Your battle manouvers and actions will be a lot better now, you'll feel more free, because I won't be there to mess it all up.

 

The reason why I wrote that quote at the beginning? Water is beautiful, yes. But if you get stuck in it, without a solution, you drown. That's what happened here. Life is beautiful. I got stuck. I found a solution. And here I am, on the very end of everything.

 

As I once said, to defeat monsters you have to become a monster yourself.

 

 

 

There was a monster in my head.

 

I killed it.

 

 

 

I'm free.


End file.
